Nosy Konan
by msanime1117
Summary: Konan gets nosy and wants to know all of the Akatsuki's secrets. Of course she had to go undercover. 1) It wouldn't be as secret 2)It would be twice as fun being secretive.


Konan woke up with curiosity on her. Today she felt like spying on the guys doing there daily activities. So Konan got dressed grabbed a pencil and her diary which she didn't even know she even had one and wrote the first name she thought of.

Pein.

So Konan sneaked up on him in his room. Nothing was happening. All he was doing was well nothing. Absolutely nothing! Just standing there like a statue as if he's waiting for the time to change the world. Almost as if he was just a build board cutout. Hell you couldn't tell if he was dead. Konan was not gonna get any info like this.

So she was gonna go to the next her victim of her curiosity.

Deidara.

He was an easy target. I mean he already looked like a girl with pretty blond hair and blue eyes. Technically it was vice versa with her. She was so jealous of him having to be the perfect girl. Hell wearing the cloak make him look more like one.

So she went to his bed room whom he shared with Sasori. She could've sworn they are a couple. Well back to meddling. Good thing Sasori wasn't in there on a mission by himself which also picked up interest.

Her eyes went big as she stared at what deidara was doing. With his pillow! Oh god it was the most horrifying thing she has ever seen in her entire eyes couldn't keep up.

There is Deidara wearing a pink apron and pink hair clips and with face pink nails. He was holding the pillow like a baby! Not to mention the pillow was badly drawn on. On eye bigger than the other and a big smile with dimples. How cute.

So he was singing a lullaby in a high pitch voice. Craddling it like a baby. She was constantly writing in the book for Deidara which she drew a picture of wearing that holding the pillow while she writes what she just saw.

She stopped once Deidara began to kiss it on his forehead and put it in the closet where a small bed was. He closed and glared at the other pillow which he turned around to reveal a face with the same eyes but with lipstick and a beauty mole.

"You neglected your son Patrica!... Don't you dare talk back to me!... I'm the slut?! What happened to Darrick?! Or Sean?! Or even Eisenhower for crying out loud?!... You know what?! I'm tired of your slutty mouth!"

Deidara pulled out a knife from his apron and stabbed the pillow repeatedly. Chanting 'die' as he killed the pillow pulling all of the stuffing out while evilly laughing. That was until he started to cry hysterically. Which made Konan fill a bit awkward right now.

"Mom always loved you Patricia! Why didn't my family love me?! ... Shup up I didn't ask you Deane! No Richard is mine!" The he began to stab the other pillow which Konan quickly left but pause when he said

"Okay Richard time for mommy's milk!" With that she left as fast as she can. So she went to her next victim.

Kisame.

So she sent into the kitchen only to hide when she saw a big suitcase. Also a tank with a huge fish in it. It was brownish (I really don't care it's just a fish.:-) he glared at it and began to touch the glass.

"Hey precious. I've missed you. Did you miss me?...good because I wanted to tell you something.(sweet music)You were there for me when I left Kiri. You were there for when Itachi threatened to eat you. You were there when when I forgot to feed you for a week but you still hung on for.

It's not easy to say this Suzanne but I love you with all my heart. Will you marry me?" Konan snickered in her head. He didn't even realize the fish died when he said precious. (Poor fishie)

"Oh so that's how it's gonna be huh well then goodbye!" He looked the big fish out and slammed it into the blender. To her horror it sliced the fish to pieces and turned into liquid before he drunk it and pretended it didn't happen. That was until them suitcase mhad several bags of fish and he pulled it out and put it in the bowl.

Konan left after that. That was worse then Deidara. She found Deidara's funny but a little too serious but meh it's Deidara. Kisame just drank/ate some sushi smoothy but he ask to marry 'Suzanne'.

Kakuzu

So Konan went to the next one. Kakuzu. There wasn't really anything interesting about him. All she knew is he had a love for money. I mean he is like the gansta from the town that wants his money and be shooting everything with guns until he gets it. Yeah like that character from those movies or that cartoon crab from that weird show about a sponge thing(I know what the show was. When I was younger I watched everyday but when I watched it now I thought of how I sat and just watched it.)

So he's in his room and she began to write in her diary. She looked through the room with the power of curiosity (,hahaha!) What she saw was weird. Kakuzu had a picture of him and his first coin when he was five or something.

That old man was drunk while throwing his room full of money while he spins in a circle. He smiled when he saw that coin and kissed it before laughing at the billions of money laying on the floor as every world came out of his mouth.

"I love you money. My money money!" That was until he begin to sing about money as he began to stuff his money down his shirt before he threw his money again.

Konan just stared in boredom. He was so boring that it wasn't even funny. So in disbelief and disappointment of her findings she left quickly to her room wondering what the next day would be like.

* * *

 **Next chapter: Deidara's confession**


End file.
